I start to anticipate Valentine’s day the day after Valentine’s day
I start to remember when I was in secondary school and every one got dozens of those small cards and candy shaped hearts and ONE special card and One special candy heart
The hearts I had been given those days all had letters on them but they were all jumbled up
Now I know that the letters were all saying the same thing
First be yourself then be someone’s Valentine
Now today, just days away from THE day
I sit and I ponder what it all means
Let me start by saying that this year
I do not want eleven roses
I do not want something on my wrist that tells time
that shows me you are late again
I do not want a box of choclats filled with nuts and cream
but no hands to put them in my mouth
This year I only want a mirror most of all
A mirror that would show me what you see when you see me
A see through mirror that does not lie
If you do not feel like sitting with me
Please take your ipod and go for a run
If you do not feel like listening to me
Please turn on the noise in your head
so perhaps you can read my thoughts
This year I only don’t want
Message upon message on my face book wall
You telling the world you love me
But not telling me once you want me
I will only know your presence
when I feel you present with me
This year I want you to not look into my eyes
But look on the back of my hands
and read the stories of the things I’ve done years gone
This year I want to ask you
What is my favorite color when you give me red roses again
And I can say that I am color blind
and that is why I smell flowers one by one
This year I want you to hold my hands
and not look at the ring you gave me last year
This year I want you to hold my hands
and see the dirt under my nails
it is from the scratching of my nails against the walls of my heart
This year I hope to sleep through Valentine’s day
And wake up when it is the day after this day
of full of roses, choclates and lies
I write this poem this year in hopes that
next year you will not love me but only
Let me fly
Yes, I have wings
You never bothered to look behind of me
Since you never knew I had two sides
My inside and my outside
You only always cared for me on the outside
And never bothered to look at me on the inside
Inside of me is not a heart that looks like a red heart with a cupid inside
Inside of me is heart with a heart rushing with blood full of life
Don’t hold me so tight that I can not breath or fly
Just hold my shadow and you will start to recognize my worth
And while I start to look inside you
I start to see you have also had wings
Your wings are colorful as that of a peacock
I am sorry I had never seen your depth or your worth
I have been too concerened with what I want
This year let’s talk on Valentine’s day instead of going to the town Gala
wearing red and a tux and itching in our own skins
Let me help you open your wings
Let me appreciate the colors of your being
It is only when I start seeing your colors that
I realize I am not color blind
I have only been blind to you
After all I must remember that it is holding each other
as guides can we put the white cane on the wall to work
So now I will hold your elbow and not your hand
For I see your hands are too delicate for my touch
Now I realize you wear the ipod only because my voice is too harsh for your gentle soul
I am sorry if this past year and all the days before
I have not realized that you have been giving me all the letters
of the words on the heart shaped candies one by one
One year you gave me a flower and that was for fidelity
One year you gave me a ring and that was for Unity
One year you gave me a smile and that was for reassurance
One year your gave me a car and that was a vehicle
to go where my heart wants to take me
One year you gave me a cut out heart with our initials
now I know that was to show me not to cut out your heart from your being
One year you forgot it was Valentine’s day
just to show me what it feels like when I forget
it is the day you like to be home alone when you want to remember your own soul
One year like this year just days before that Hallmark day you gave me a blank card
On this blank card today
I will write to you my love my partner
my lover my friend my companion
I will write that I SEE YOU for who you are
I need not say more because the rest of the things
I want to say you have said to me all the years passed
and now I learn from you the meaning of this day
is to just let me be me
in order to find the colors of my wings
in order to fly
NO reds No whites No regrets
Only Pure Pure Light
If you would like to read a poem on marriage and poem on love.
I felt so many different emotions in this poem! There are many powerful statements, and I read this again and again to really feel how I interpreted them all. Poetry affects people in different ways, and this one really resonates with me.
I think those are among the most important statements about poetry…. that it affects people in different ways and in this case for me knowing as a poet that each sentence has been read and re read for different interpretations. Just like the wings of a soul that can be given courage or wings of a soul being plucked away. In your beautiful role I know you give many a chance to see their own wings they never knew they had. And in this case thank you for fluffing mine at a time in flight much in need of love and light. Thank you for giving the words your heart and your time.
Such a beautiful revealing and naked love letter. So full of honesty and truth. So full of light and love. So full of heart and soul. So lucky to be your beloved and lover. So So So beautiful.
Yes, indeed truth can be naked and raw. I am not a believer of such “DAYS” but when I started to write this poem, it must have been the essence of love that took over. In these cases I find it beautiful to just let my pen float in air and use the space with no limit as a tapestry to weave word after word celebrating, love, life, and light. I am glad the love letter spoke to you; for each of us is the lover and the beloved. Thank you
Beautiful heart. Beautiful soul. Not only do you fly, but you soar high above the clouds into the light. Thank you for taking me there with your heartfelt words. Into the pure light.
Thank you Lorelei for seeing the connections, the web of light that leads us to one another and also to the ONE.